By: J

Hello I’m J and I am an addict. My addiction believe it or not started during my childhood and I have been feeding it ever since. I get a strong urge that seems to consume me until I feed my compulsion. I am ashamed to admit it but I have done things that have disrespected my family, friends, and at times co-workers. This addiction has at times allowed my mind to rationalize immoral behavior just to experience the next fix. My addiction is the catalyst that drives individuals to drugs, alcohol, and sex. My addiction is to myself.

Selfishness, in my opinion, is the need to fulfill every impulse, rational or irrational. This characteristics starts in the sandbox, when you snatch another kids toy because you want it. Good parents guide you thru this process and establish guidelines and coping mechanisms. Then you become a hormone imbalanced teenager. This is the stage that ones selfish endeavors lead to greater exploration and at times greater penalties. We either learn from our mistakes and re-establish/pick up new coping mechanisms or embrace the role of rebellious teen. It is at this pivital point that the mindset of it’s all about me or I understand that I will not get all I want is established. It’s at this point where we choose to deal with the emotions of rejection and disappointment or mask it with a substance or a pleasurable yet destructive behavior.

Morality, the belief in God, (that God not being ourselves) and the worshiping of Him steers us from selfishness. Worship services identify the flaw in selfishness and the arrogance of considering that we are quite capable of living life without help from our creator. I am a recovering addict from myself. I thank God for his Holy Bible which leads and guides my every move. I thank God that He is tolerant of my mistakes and believes in the purpose He placed in me. I also thank God for true friends and family that ground me in reality and support me in life.